Monday, June 4, 2012

Somber Heart

Photo: Todd Doherty
Well, I won't lie: it's been a tough week. Not just for me, but for all of us in the English Department at WWU.

We received word last week that our future colleague, Genevieve Critel, died in her sleep last weekend. She was only 32 years old. We had hired her for a tenure-track position in Writing Studies, and she was our unanimous first choice (something that NEVER happens!) We were all so happy when she chose us, and she was so happy we had chosen her. We didn't really know Gen, but we felt her so strongly as already a part of our community. Her death left us breathless.

Then a former colleague's husband, also fairly young, died a few days later of cancer. And then over the weekend, the entire WWU community heard of the death of a student--a young man, an English major--by suicide.

In the midst of all this, a gunman kills five people in a cafe in Seattle.

What does one do in the face of this suffering?

I found myself burrowing deep inside, and yet at the same time, hungry for connection. Wanting just to touch people, see their faces, pat their heads to remind me they're still here. And yet I wanted to be very alone. To breathe. To sit with the knowledge that all our clocks are ticking down.

The origin of the word somber means "to cast a shadow." Somber is not a word I have occasion to use very often, but it's the word that kept ringing in my head all weekend. Somber. Like a gong. The reverberations shook me. I felt shadowed.

Then, yesterday, I started coming out of it. I could feel it, literally, in my body: a lightening. I'd like to think it's because I wrote most of the weekend. Or because I gave a reading as part of a benefit concert where I heard all kinds of women singing their hearts out. Because I understood, then, art as a deep kind of solace.

But it might not have been any of those things. It might have been just the natural progression of grief.

Sorry for the morose letter to you today. But where else can I be my authentic self than here, with you? Dear reader, what do you do when faced with emotions you can't really name? How do you live within them?


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Such a Deal!



Just for today, Skinner House Books/UUA is offering 20% off The Pen and the Bell. Here's the skinny:
Today's daily deal at the UUA Bookstore - take 20% off the brand new "The Pen and the Bell: Mindful Writing in a Busy World" when you enter "write12" in the discount code box at checkout! Hurry - this offer is only valid today!
Since Amazon is being slow in getting the books (they say they won't ship until September!), and since the distributor is also making it difficult for bookstores to get the book before September, here's your chance to get the book right now for $12, and support independent publishers while you're at it. 

Hope you're having a superb and mindful day,
Brenda

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Eating Mindfully, Eating Well


As most of my friends will tell you, I'm a little in love with food. This is a very good thing for my friends—I love nothing more than to throw a good dinner party. And usually it's a good thing for me too, except when I emerge from the winter darkness and can barely squeeze into my summer clothes.

So, it's back to Weight Watchers for me. Actually, I kind of love being "on plan" as they say, for it gives me an opportunity to use cooking as a hobby. The key to success is planning, so I've been reading cookbooks, and my latest favorite is Serve Yourself by Joe Yonan.


He's funny, and he's very into making your own condiments: citrus-pickled onions; parsley-garlic dressing; salsa verde, etc. He likes eggs, and tacos, and sweet potatoes (he puts sweet potato in places you would never expect....) He's also quite clever. Tonight I made his Mahi Mahi with Kiwi-Avocado Salsa and Coconut Rice, and there were several things about this meal that made it memorable:

1. He uses coconut WATER instead of coconut milk, to infuse both the rice and fish with a subtle coconut essence (and of course reduces both fat and calories).
2. He cooks the fish in the same pot as the rice. Easier clean-up!
3. It was SO easy and SO delicious!

Here is the recipe, but I adapted a bit. I used brown jasmine rice instead (tripled cooking time, and added fish about 2/3 of the way through),  and I cut the amount of avocado in half. I also didn't have scallion so I used shallot, and I left out the jalapeno, because for me that overwhelms the flavor.

Mahi Mahi with Kiwi-Avocado Salsa and Coconut Rice
(serves one; I doubled the recipe to have leftovers)

1 (6-ounce) mahi mahi fillet
Kosher or sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
3/4 cup coconut water (pure coconut water, unsweetened)
1/3 cup jasmine or other long-grain white rice
1 kiwi, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/2 ripe avocado, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 scallion, white and green parts, cut into 1/4-inch slices
1/2 fresh jalapeno chile, seeded, and finely chopped (optional)
Juice of 1 lime
Leaves from 3 or 4 sprigs cilantro, chopped
1/2 teaspoon honey, or more to taste (optional)

Pat dry the mahi mahi with a paper towel and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

In a small skillet or saucepan fitted with a lid, combine the coconut water, rice, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, then decrease the heat until the liquid is barely bubbling.

Place the mahi mahi fillet on top of the rice, cover, and cook for about 15 minutes, or until all the coconut water is absorbed. Turn off the heat and let the rice and fish stand, covered, for another 5 minutes.

While the rice and fish are cooking, make the salsa. In a small bowl, stir together the kiwi, avocado, scallion, jalapeƱo, lime juice, and cilantro. Taste and add a touch of salt if necessary and a drizzle of honey if it’s too tart.

YUM!!

 ****
Another key to success is to remember mindfulness in my eating: to become aware of different kinds of hunger that send out signals in my body and respond calmly, thoughtfully, and with love.

A great ally in this has been the book Mindful Eating: A Guide to Rediscovering a Healthy and Joyful Relationship with Food, by Dr. Jan Chozen Bays

 What drew me to this book is the way she articulates "The Seven Kinds of Hunger." They are:

1. Eye Hunger
2. Nose Hunger
3. Mouth Hunger
4. Stomach Hunger
5. Cellular Hunger
6. Mind Hunger
7. Heart Hunger
I've only made it to Cellular hunger, but already I can feel myself differentiating a bit, able to wait and assess before eating. I'm able to sit with my meal: before diving face first into the gorgeous Mahi-Mahi, I took the time to really admire all the colors and brightness of the dish (eye hunger) and smelled it thoroughly (nose hunger) and chewed slowly to absorb the textures (mouth hunger). I felt how this food satisfied all those hungers before even getting to where we normally think our hunger lies.

Food is so elemental, in every sense of the word. May you have a week of mindful eating that brings you great satisfaction.

Brenda